We have all been taught that compassion is king of the jungle right? I have a story about compassion; pity vs. self-love. I was walking into a coffee shop one day and it was blazing hot outside. I felt as if I could barely breathe so I was walking fast to get inside. When I looked up I saw a woman trying to wave me to come her way as she sat next to a large suv staying out of the sun. I had seen her before and I knew she wanted money. I looked at her and waved then shook my head ‘no’ as I continued to get inside the building. After I shook my head ‘no’ my mind began to bitch me out. ‘That was not very compassionate, whats wrong with you?’. I chose my own wellbeing in that moment verses engaging with another. I was uncomfortable within even though I felt good about putting myself first. Later, I re-visited that feeling of discomfort. I looked up the word compassion and found it described as, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” Some of the synonyms listed: empathy, sympathy, love, sensitivity, kindness.

I was triggered by the definition, I thought who the fuck writes this shit anyway? Pity and Love are not the same. Empathy and Sympathy are not the same. I walked around for days mother fucking the word ‘compassion.’ I also knew if I was having this strong of a response there was something inside me to remember. After I initially felt the rawness of how compassion was being defined I contacted Roxanne Swainhart and with a number of other co-creators we dove into this subject. Afterwards I was even more ruffled but not in a bad way. On one hand there was the compassion that I felt I knew as my truth and on the other hand I was being offered another way of looking at it that felt true too. Imagine having the word ‘true’ written on each hand and deciding which hand you wanted to eliminate.

I sat down, closed my eyes, and brought my energy back inside and took deep breathes. Within a few moments I realized that I was trying to figure it out with my mind using linear time. Once I brought myself out of time into the now I had a clear vision in my head. Passion = love and neutral in the NOW. Compressed Passion = pity and polarized in linear-time. I had felt like a tea kettle about to explode, but now the kettle was off the burner and the water was settling. I felt relief that I could keep both of my hands. LOL

There is a relationship with compassion when we hold it for another. An experience of comPASSION in the now is profound and emotional experience of self-love on a whole different level of awareness. As I watched a dear friend rip herself apart discovering how she has kept herself in pain for many years I felt immense love and joy in my heart space. I intimately know that space and what it feels like to come out on the other end. I was witnessing myself within her experience. I felt deep joy and clear knowing of who she is that was behind the details of what she was speaking. For my own benefit, I expressed the beauty of the moment to her as she continued to express her own godship upon herself. My tears were filled with joy and I felt joy in my heart. The experience was immeasurable. I felt quite confident about holding comPASSION in the now. I felt such inner power and confidence of self. Until…

The next day her cat, Sergeant, who was nearly identical to a cat from my past appeared to have fallen ill. He was not urinating in his box despite repeat trips to the box. My cat, Jovi, had passed from kidney failure before the vet came by to euthanize him. The experience of his passing left me with guilt for not allowing the vet to euthanize him the day before. He appeared to be ok and even the vet felt one night at home was fine so I could say my goodbyes. When my friends cat began displaying many of the same signals and along with my medical background my mind attached to the pain I unconsciously held in my body and went into COMPRESSED Passion, compassion using linear-time. I felt sympathy, sorrow and pain as I could relate to what my friend was experiencing. I recognized the similarity of how I felt when Jovi passed. As I petted Sergeant, it felt like I was going through my experience all over again. I had attached my objective reality to my own pain in a past experience so my compassion came from compressed passion (pity, sympathy) and was not beneficial to my friend, the cat, and most importantly MYSELF. Once I realized what I was doing I began shifting my awareness back to the present and soothed that part of me I had no idea was still there. The next day Sergeant had improved and was cleared with a vet checkup.

Holding a relationship to compassion that is attached to pain within ourselves keeps us in pain, unless recognized, it is the opposite of self-love, it keeps us blind to our own light, keeps us veiled from who we really are, prevents us from holding presence for another. If something is a dis-service to ourselves it is a dis-service to others. I showed myself how compressed passion is habitual relationship to ourselves by default. It is no ones fault, it is taught generation after generation. It also serves as a tool that allows us to discover within us what we are still holding energetically. Those energetic patterns will create physical discomforts or even disease if left inside. Just being aware of what we are doing to ourselves changes everything.

I find our current definition of compassion, paradoxical. When we hold comPASSION in the now it is one of the highest acts of self-love and one of the highest acts of love we can hold for others. To serve as witness to another who is on their own hero’s journey, allows us to experience the beauty of our own. The beauty you see in their expression is you. Acts of self-love automatically hold love for all because we are all one. I use to think that being kind to another was love even if I was sacrificing my own wellbeing to serve them. Through Roxanne’s channel it was shared that the sob stories in social media, main stream media, even television shows bait humans for ratings. Most of humanity is innocent because they do not know what they are doing to themselves. When we choose self-sacrifice, pity, sympathy we literally create dis-ease and become the fertilizer, through sad stories, that are sprinkled out for the rest of humanity to feed on. Then the cycle continues. This set a fire under my ass because I could feel truth in it.

So when I find myself in compressed passion, what do I do about it? I DO Nothing! I ALLOW the emotions and ALLOW my mind to go where ever it wants to, then I take a deep breath, forgive and accept myself as I am. Accepting reality and recognizing the relationship to compassion will neutralizes the polarity. Notice when it is a painful experience versus a joyful one and do not beat yourself up. Love of self is the key. If you desire to serve humanity, get to know your relationship to compassion, serve yourself, then your service to humanity will be immeasurable.

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